The holidays have a way of setting a place for everyone. That is exactly why they hurt when someone is missing. The songs, the recipes, the ornament they made, the chair no one wants to sit in. Grief that felt quieter in October can feel loud again by December.
Scripture does not ask you to choose between grieving and celebrating. It gives you room to mourn honestly at the very season that marks the coming of the One who carries our sorrow. Here are a few passages to hold onto when the holidays feel heavy.
You are allowed to weep
At the tomb of His friend Lazarus, Jesus wept (John 11:35). He already knew He was about to raise Lazarus (John 11:11). He wept anyway, standing with Mary and Martha in their loss. Tears are not a failure of faith. The Son of God shed them.
Ecclesiastes 3:4 reminds us there is a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. Sometimes those times land on the same day. You may laugh at a story at dinner and cry in the car afterward. Both belong.
Grief with hope, not grief without it
Paul wrote to new believers in Thessalonica who were worried about loved ones who had died: But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Notice what he does not say. He does not say "do not grieve." He says grieve with hope, because we believe that Jesus died and rose again (v. 14).
That hope does not erase the empty chair. It tells you the chair is not the end of the story.
Christmas was always for the grieving
The first Christmas was not tidy. Isaiah's famous promise, For to us a child is born, to us a son is given (Isaiah 9:6), was spoken to a people walking in darkness (Isaiah 9:2). Matthew tells us the child would be called Immanuel, and explains that the name means "God with us" (Matthew 1:23, quoting Isaiah 7:14).
In the temple, the infant Jesus was met by Anna, a widow who had been married only seven years and had then lived as a widow for decades (Luke 2:36–37). She had carried her loss for decades. When she saw the child, she began to give thanks to God (Luke 2:38). Christmas did not skip over her grief. It came to her in the middle of it.
The One born that night would grow up to be a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). When you bring your sorrow to Him this season, you are bringing it to someone who knows.
He comes close to broken hearts
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). The psalm celebrates God gathering His scattered people home after exile (v. 2), and in the same breath it says He tends the wounded one by one. The picture is of careful, hands-on care, like dressing a wound. Healing is often slow, and the holidays can reopen what was starting to close. God is not impatient with that. For more on this, read Psalm 34:18: The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.
The table that is coming
Every family table is a little incomplete. Scripture points to one that will not be. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away (Revelation 21:4). For those who belong to Christ, the holidays are a small, aching preview of a reunion that is still ahead.
A few gentle ideas for the season
Name them out loud. Light a candle, share a story, or read a psalm together. Saying their name can be a relief to everyone at the table.
Give yourself permission to change traditions. Doing less this year is not dishonoring them.
Pray honestly. You can pray Psalm 13:1, How long, O LORD?, on Christmas morning. God can hold your questions.
If this is your first season after losing a parent, you may also find comfort in Bible verses for losing a mother, and if the house feels quiet, Bible verses for loneliness. A thirty-day Grief series is being written now.
If grief feels too heavy to carry alone, a pastor or grief counselor can walk with you. If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, please call or text 988 (in the US) today.
Questions women often ask
Is it wrong to be sad at Christmas?
No. Jesus wept at His friend's tomb (John 11:35), and Paul tells grieving believers not to stop grieving but to grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Sadness and faith can sit side by side.
What Bible verse helps with grief during the holidays?
Many people hold onto Matthew 5:4, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Revelation 21:4 adds the promise that God will one day wipe away every tear.
How can I honor a loved one at Christmas?
Keep it simple: light a candle, share a favorite memory, set out something that was theirs, or read a psalm together. There is no right way, only an honest one.
Want to go deeper in your Bible? Our recommended Study Bible app is StudyBible.io. It's not meant to replace your Bible, but be right next to it.
